Pete Davoli

hey tumbleritos!!!! there is a huge hole in my boxer shorts and i havnt changed them in 3 days. id like to say i give a shit cause usually i do but im just so fucking soar and tired that i couldnt give any more fucks right now.

i smell like shit. im really dirty. like you can see the dirt on my skin. my hair is just 3 days caked with hair product, dirt, and probobly fireball whiskey. it feels pretty good. ive been laying on my stomach farting for a couple of hours now. chipotle.

they asked me to join this group on facebook. ive been posting obnoxious stuff thinking theyd remove me right away. appearntly people love it cause ive been getting comments n likes about every 2 minutes er so for the last hour.

im funny. who knew? oh yeah

i got this sort of girlfriend. its sort of awesome. she feeds me. she picks me up when im drunk and lost. ( which dosent take much now a days cause i cant drink worth a shit and i get sleepy really early) ah i dont wanna go into details. shes pretty cool. but shes like not really my girlfriend cause like were not dating. its weird i dont get it.

so im always just like whatever!

if you thought i was obnoxious before, you aint seen nothin yet.

real hugs n kisses cuase i miss you bitches. ill try n post more tho for reals.

I’m not shitting you, I literally just made the DVD player play by ignoring it. I put in the DVD, forgot to hit play, laid down, looked over at the stupid menu, said “god fucking dammit”, rolled over and started playing on my phone, then it just started playing all by itself. I’m fucking awesome.

ive got this crazy thing with corndogs n roller blades i wanna do.

im just full of half assed or just half material. i cant put it together lately .

like i was gonna do this bit about painters n why they always wear those all white outfits. all like durrr look at me i suck at my job… or im really awesome at it.

yeah i cant get it together. well i can. ive just been putting my brain power into other things i guess. mostly anything having to do with work. like work. or working out. or working on beating zelda 64 and not getting stuck on that stupid water level again.

i think its cause im not frustrated. the anger really does it for me on many levels.

right now im just really content and blah. but its fun. i must say that. except saturday night … i should have just stayed the fuck in like i wanted to but of course i had a huge lapse in judgement and just hated myself for it. but whatever no regrets.

ok that got my blood pumping a bit. here we go…

lol actually im not gonna go off on this one. i just dont care. the dude is just a fucking bitch. lol

lol i just dont have it me. to be angry. or funny. or anything.

ok i got a raise at work today. i did my 6 month review. im fucking awesome and 2 bosses had only good things to say and just sat nodding their heads at eachother like ” yeah” .

it feels good to know in a year n half i just came in dropping my ball bag all over peoples faces and just trumping people that have been there years before me.

its even cooler that i went off and did something i never did before. and i fucking rocked it.  i volunteered for some training program bullshit. lol i dont know but the GM asked me and i like the guy and he needed people and im not scared so fuck it. ill sit in a room and clown around.

i accidently got a “healthy” item off the taco bell menu the other day. it was ok.

chunky peanut butter vs creamy.  idk. but …. its basically like they intended on creamy but then some mother fucker got lazy one day and looked at the guy next to him and was like ” hey whaddya think??”

oh these guys have english accents btw…

" i dont know if Jif is gonna go for it"

if you have an agenda for when you go onto the internet… you spend too much fucking time on the internet. or you are like me and you just sit there staring at the screen cause you feel like you may of at one time had an agenda but litteraly the whole situation is a blank screen.

thats usually about the time i either come on here to babble or i just get the fuck up and go do something else.

i gave some kid money for his fund raiser the other day. just gave him money. i didnt want the consultation prize, cookies or whatever.

i was impressed. he had the balls to come up to 3 grown men drinking beer on a porch. i was even more impressed that him and his 2 buddys were actually out going door to door to raise money.

i was listening to the radio not long ago and they were talking about how kids arent supposed to do that kind of stuff anymore cause they might get raped or whatever sets off an amber alert. 

which if you know me i think is complete bullshit. your kid shouldnt be that dumb in the first place to walk up to “that” house in the neighborhood. you know the one… all the kids always say

" i heard that guy is gay"

or
" i heard he kills dogs"

or

" my dad says hes a weirdo"

anyways all this babying your god damn kids and dont let um do this and do feed them that. get the FUCK OUTA HERE. i cant stand it. let um go get hurt. kids break shit. including themselves. their fuckin kids. thats what they do. all these kids are pussies and think they are entitled to something cause you people are keeping um on leashes and feeding um organic pussy juice. 

give timmy a pop tart n a HI-C n tell him to get lost. the calories will burn themselves off i sware. he wont be fat and or pathetic. if he comes home with a scraped knee or a nail in his foot good! he should of gotten his shots anyways.

and thats another thing. these fucking people arent taking these kids to get their shots anymore. 

"they cause behavior disorders and they just arent natural" 

you know what good. dont give timmy his shots. i hope he gets fucking small pox and in turn does his part to humanity and thins the herd. 

why are people so stupid? 

why wouldnt you give your kids shots. why?!?!? you wanna do something good for um? sign um up for fucking basket ball. roll up a news paper and wap them in the back of the head when they give you lip. 

its just people n puppies. 

smack the thing in the snout with a rolled up trib. its a fucking animal. lol its not gonna respond to “no patches, no”. 

stomp your foot on the ground, raise your voice, and raise the right hand in the air. 

animals respond to that. so do kids. they respond so well in fact that after a while YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THAT ANYMORE. 

whatever. what do i know. like youre gonna take advice from the 28 year old that thinks every object over 3 feet long is either a dick or an air guitar.

sometimes its both depending on whats on the radio.

so ive been eating less. yeah. they say less is more. and im living proof. the less i eat the more i wanna fucking strangle the person im becoming for ” thinking” about what im eating.

its nice though cause on the weekends ill get drunk and eat a 2 foot italian beef like someones paying me to do it.

but ya know, during the week… if Pete can skip one meal. its fucking progress.

me and my buddys we get together, we have a supper club every thursday. yeah its great. we get fuckin drunk and cook like we work an assembly line. i noticed not only am i always the first one to clean my plate. im also the first one up for seconds. and sometimes the only one up for thirds.

for most people. this isnt normal. in my family. this is normal. in fact on both sides of my family, this is normal dietary behavior. my uncle joey weight probobly 100 pounds. he eats probobly twice that each sitting. i think thats where i learned the ” you gonna eat that ” look.

you dont even need to be looking up, you can just feel it. but when you do look up second guessing yourself… thats when ” you gunna eat dat??”

—————————————————

so after proof reading this i decided that i didnt want to proof anything. also its not my best by anymeans. alot of these bits are open ended i feel or could have a lot more context. but im just in the place where i dont give a fuck. so sorry if you got stupid fucking ” peeves” about that shit or whatever but its there. read it. if not fuck it. more shit later. thanks for reading or critiquing or whatever you guys are doing.

Her thing said “runs with scissors” so I told her if she hung out with lesbians all the time that could be her native American name.

I remember… We were driving in Scotts grandpa’s 85 crown vic. It had a Jesus statue on the dashboard. There was 5 of us. I remember Scott n bird upfront I was back left and I can’t remember who else, maybe mark n Landon? Idk… We pull up to Spencers house, this crazy fuckin bar hag comes stumblin down the drive, her worn out t shirt said sperm on it. We were dying laughing. She comes around mine n Scotts side of the car and starts “oh you guys must be the basketball team”

Lol oh my god. It’s crazy all the stuff I dont remember until some strange commercial on TV reminds me.

I’m so manly smelling right now. Sausage, garlic, hair spray.

so its like i told my asian american friend ( asian american cause he lives there not cause hes short and good at math), im buying a truck. after this winter. forget about it. im gonna be that dick head in the middle of the road with my brights in a snow storm doin 50 in a 35.

my back didnt hurt today so i actually got to lift some fucking weight.

i went from sick and dangerous to quick and painless. but i guess thats what happens when you squat thrust major appliances for a living. i was fuckin around, eating like shit, not lifting enough, and sleeping on the couch too much. it was just a matter of time.

whatever. whats most important is my fuckin cardio and my god damn legs. i used to be a walking poster boy for stamina. now im a regular old idaho couch potato. 

dont worry. calf season is coming up and im gonna be fuckin ready.

ok no more fuckin around. i just had a can of chunky beef soup and a sleeve of ritz crackers cause i like a challenge.

asta pasta

go to bed early. get alot of sleep. yeah pete cause you are so good at staying asleep for long periods of time.

i blame that jacked up work schedule of mine. wake up at 4 am one day, noon the next day. off the day after that, then up at 645. soooooo balls.

im just gonna pound waffles in my face and hope i get a little sleepy after, ya know cause usually i get sleepy after i eaty