Pete Davoli

id name a horse cheese cake.

those anti smoking commercials do exactly what they were designed to, freak me the fuck out.

im gunna go to work tomorrow. and the next day. and the next day. and the next day and the next day and the next day and im going to work so many days in a row i cant even fucking count. i guess it works out tho… ill get 3 days off in a row and then i can work 2 weeks straight again. whatever. ill be in chicago the whole time fucking off and not giving a shit. thank god

i let my car insurance go. i think they have a 5 day grace period………….. idk. i kind of dont care. it feels really good. i cant even remember if i payed my sprint bill in the last 2 months. lol i still dont care. i think the cable is due. lol ….. i blew my nose on my face/pillow  a few nights ago. idk whats goin on with me but it feels good. i was driving to work this morning and i wanted to be late. of course i wasnt. but usally id look at my phone and think to myself ” you just had to pet that kitty cat didnt you” i mean im never late. ever. but i just dont care. i didnt wash the hair spray out of my hair for 3 days last week. i looked like punk rock threw up on a menards uniform that i didnt change for 3 days. i should be working out right now but i think im just gonna eat another sausage and lay in bed with my pants around my ankles.

lost my wallet doing some internet shopping…

she said she wanted to march right up to her and say that she was an idiot and she didnt even deserve a guy like me.

thats gotta be the most flattering thing ive heard in a while.

its hard to tell what gets me in trouble more.

actually its just my brain in general. people are always like oh everyone thinks fuct up shit they just dont say it.

i agree but i think that my brain comes up with wayyyyyy more fuct up shit than most other peoples… and i say it. almost with no hesitation. weather it be right to someones face or worse ( according to todays standards) on facebook.

me i think its funny. but then again i think almost everything is funny. especially me. i think im fucking hilarious. i have no problem being by myself all day cause im god damn funny. ill walk my brain around all day and put it infront of anything and find something humerous about it. and then ill be like oh brain youre so funny . then ill tell myself god im so funny.

if you were gonna say im crazy then you are probobly right. i agree with you. i wouldnt say im a full functioning member of society but i do enough to get by. alot by crazy person standards thats for damn sure. i mean i work 40-50 hours a week, pay my bills on time. thats pretty good for someone who has had ice cream for breakfast twice this week.

ya know, it really fuckin sucks when something so good comes to an end. but how good was it? really?

i dont know. im not going to try and figure it out. it was just another one of those things. chin up n smile.

what i really wanna talk about is fucking people who think they are special. im in the fuckin white castle today… ” can you make sure that the stickers are seperate cause everyone ordered something different” holy fucking shit lady.

first, if you remember correctly. one of my peevyest (made that up just now) pets is people who make difficult orders at restaruants. we can all blame burger king for letting stupid fucking people have it there way.

anyways… im sorry, im sure those people couldnt give a fuck about if your cheese burger is next to a chicken sandwich. why cant you just do what every fat shit american has done since the begging of the “lunch run” and look at the burger before you stuff it in your mouth?

and if you are at all worried about food quality or food allergy i can assure you that you are in the complete wrong place.

its a white castle, in the suburbs. they are going to fuck your order up.

it really seems like i am one of the last people on the face of the earth that just rolls with the punches.

examples… got a crunchy taco instead of a soft.

Pete : surprise !

everyone else: um excuse me, you messed up my entire order and i want it fixed right now and i want it taken off my bill

ordering a whopper

Pete: id like a number one with cheese, medium size, coke please

everyone else: id like a number one with cheese no mayo, no lettuce, extra pickle, ketchup, and bacon. you dont have pepsi??? uhhhhhh diet coke then. what??? large.

issues with cell phone provider

Pete: well this fucking sucks

everyon else: i called those asshole 5 times and then when i finally get through its some fucking dot head, like learn to speak english. what the fuck?

buying shoes

Pete:  do you have these in the all black in a 10? no ?? alright man

everyone else: this is bullshit. i came all the way down here cause someone on the phone told me they were in and now they are not. no i dont want to see them in a different color. i want them in all black and id like you to get on your computer and find them at another store.

i just dont get it. i mean people think they are entitled to something or they are just so god damn important. they cant even treat other people with respect. theyre just doing their job. shit happens.

its just disgusting. people are so gross.

hey tumbleritos!!!! there is a huge hole in my boxer shorts and i havnt changed them in 3 days. id like to say i give a shit cause usually i do but im just so fucking soar and tired that i couldnt give any more fucks right now.

i smell like shit. im really dirty. like you can see the dirt on my skin. my hair is just 3 days caked with hair product, dirt, and probobly fireball whiskey. it feels pretty good. ive been laying on my stomach farting for a couple of hours now. chipotle.

they asked me to join this group on facebook. ive been posting obnoxious stuff thinking theyd remove me right away. appearntly people love it cause ive been getting comments n likes about every 2 minutes er so for the last hour.

im funny. who knew? oh yeah

i got this sort of girlfriend. its sort of awesome. she feeds me. she picks me up when im drunk and lost. ( which dosent take much now a days cause i cant drink worth a shit and i get sleepy really early) ah i dont wanna go into details. shes pretty cool. but shes like not really my girlfriend cause like were not dating. its weird i dont get it.

so im always just like whatever!

if you thought i was obnoxious before, you aint seen nothin yet.

real hugs n kisses cuase i miss you bitches. ill try n post more tho for reals.

I’m not shitting you, I literally just made the DVD player play by ignoring it. I put in the DVD, forgot to hit play, laid down, looked over at the stupid menu, said “god fucking dammit”, rolled over and started playing on my phone, then it just started playing all by itself. I’m fucking awesome.

ive got this crazy thing with corndogs n roller blades i wanna do.

im just full of half assed or just half material. i cant put it together lately .

like i was gonna do this bit about painters n why they always wear those all white outfits. all like durrr look at me i suck at my job… or im really awesome at it.

yeah i cant get it together. well i can. ive just been putting my brain power into other things i guess. mostly anything having to do with work. like work. or working out. or working on beating zelda 64 and not getting stuck on that stupid water level again.

i think its cause im not frustrated. the anger really does it for me on many levels.

right now im just really content and blah. but its fun. i must say that. except saturday night … i should have just stayed the fuck in like i wanted to but of course i had a huge lapse in judgement and just hated myself for it. but whatever no regrets.

ok that got my blood pumping a bit. here we go…

lol actually im not gonna go off on this one. i just dont care. the dude is just a fucking bitch. lol

lol i just dont have it me. to be angry. or funny. or anything.

ok i got a raise at work today. i did my 6 month review. im fucking awesome and 2 bosses had only good things to say and just sat nodding their heads at eachother like ” yeah” .

it feels good to know in a year n half i just came in dropping my ball bag all over peoples faces and just trumping people that have been there years before me.

its even cooler that i went off and did something i never did before. and i fucking rocked it.  i volunteered for some training program bullshit. lol i dont know but the GM asked me and i like the guy and he needed people and im not scared so fuck it. ill sit in a room and clown around.

i accidently got a “healthy” item off the taco bell menu the other day. it was ok.

chunky peanut butter vs creamy.  idk. but …. its basically like they intended on creamy but then some mother fucker got lazy one day and looked at the guy next to him and was like ” hey whaddya think??”

oh these guys have english accents btw…

" i dont know if Jif is gonna go for it"

if you have an agenda for when you go onto the internet… you spend too much fucking time on the internet. or you are like me and you just sit there staring at the screen cause you feel like you may of at one time had an agenda but litteraly the whole situation is a blank screen.

thats usually about the time i either come on here to babble or i just get the fuck up and go do something else.

i gave some kid money for his fund raiser the other day. just gave him money. i didnt want the consultation prize, cookies or whatever.

i was impressed. he had the balls to come up to 3 grown men drinking beer on a porch. i was even more impressed that him and his 2 buddys were actually out going door to door to raise money.

i was listening to the radio not long ago and they were talking about how kids arent supposed to do that kind of stuff anymore cause they might get raped or whatever sets off an amber alert. 

which if you know me i think is complete bullshit. your kid shouldnt be that dumb in the first place to walk up to “that” house in the neighborhood. you know the one… all the kids always say

" i heard that guy is gay"

" i heard he kills dogs"


" my dad says hes a weirdo"

anyways all this babying your god damn kids and dont let um do this and do feed them that. get the FUCK OUTA HERE. i cant stand it. let um go get hurt. kids break shit. including themselves. their fuckin kids. thats what they do. all these kids are pussies and think they are entitled to something cause you people are keeping um on leashes and feeding um organic pussy juice. 

give timmy a pop tart n a HI-C n tell him to get lost. the calories will burn themselves off i sware. he wont be fat and or pathetic. if he comes home with a scraped knee or a nail in his foot good! he should of gotten his shots anyways.

and thats another thing. these fucking people arent taking these kids to get their shots anymore. 

"they cause behavior disorders and they just arent natural" 

you know what good. dont give timmy his shots. i hope he gets fucking small pox and in turn does his part to humanity and thins the herd. 

why are people so stupid? 

why wouldnt you give your kids shots. why?!?!? you wanna do something good for um? sign um up for fucking basket ball. roll up a news paper and wap them in the back of the head when they give you lip. 

its just people n puppies. 

smack the thing in the snout with a rolled up trib. its a fucking animal. lol its not gonna respond to “no patches, no”. 

stomp your foot on the ground, raise your voice, and raise the right hand in the air. 

animals respond to that. so do kids. they respond so well in fact that after a while YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THAT ANYMORE. 

whatever. what do i know. like youre gonna take advice from the 28 year old that thinks every object over 3 feet long is either a dick or an air guitar.

sometimes its both depending on whats on the radio.

so ive been eating less. yeah. they say less is more. and im living proof. the less i eat the more i wanna fucking strangle the person im becoming for ” thinking” about what im eating.

its nice though cause on the weekends ill get drunk and eat a 2 foot italian beef like someones paying me to do it.

but ya know, during the week… if Pete can skip one meal. its fucking progress.

me and my buddys we get together, we have a supper club every thursday. yeah its great. we get fuckin drunk and cook like we work an assembly line. i noticed not only am i always the first one to clean my plate. im also the first one up for seconds. and sometimes the only one up for thirds.

for most people. this isnt normal. in my family. this is normal. in fact on both sides of my family, this is normal dietary behavior. my uncle joey weight probobly 100 pounds. he eats probobly twice that each sitting. i think thats where i learned the ” you gonna eat that ” look.

you dont even need to be looking up, you can just feel it. but when you do look up second guessing yourself… thats when ” you gunna eat dat??”


so after proof reading this i decided that i didnt want to proof anything. also its not my best by anymeans. alot of these bits are open ended i feel or could have a lot more context. but im just in the place where i dont give a fuck. so sorry if you got stupid fucking ” peeves” about that shit or whatever but its there. read it. if not fuck it. more shit later. thanks for reading or critiquing or whatever you guys are doing.