tell ya what … lol
life makes no fucking sense anymore
i dont wanna be a drunk
i dont wanna be a square
i wanna go out
i wanna be responsible
i wanna eat like a tubby bitch
i wanna work out
i wanna be so many things
i wanna go back to work
it feels like ill never figure it out
ive been off work for a week n half er so and im just lost
i need to work i cant think
when i think you get this
when i think , i think i can write again
no that i ever thought i was great at this but im firmly secure in believing that all of my inspiration to bring you funny, relatable, strange crap was just from anxiety, angst, and too much god damn time.
here i am again drinking alone listening to a song that i think for the time explains my life and im writing. not that i think this is even decent by any means but im gonna bother the fuck out of you if you have read this far…
i thought i had shit figured out. i thought i was different. actually i am different and thats what sucks the most. i dont know what im doing anymore. im just fucking stupid. im 27 years old and i shouldnt be putting pencils in my nose acting like a walrus. i shouldnt be hanging upside down off my bed making animal noises. but then again im a wild animal. im not like anyone else. so i dont know what i should be doing .
i still think the microwave is awesome. anything u can put in there and eat 45 seconds later is just fucking amazing.
i bought capri suns like 2 weeks ago. i left um in my car . oh yeah i gota car now. well for the last year n sum change.
i had a real falling out from writing. so i cant remember ( not that i ever could) when we last spoke.
there was this one time on my old computer where i had an awesome itunes collection and i even went as far as to get the album covers.
ya hear i am with my new comp a year n half later and im finally uploading all this bullshit.
i just couldnt give a shit. i dont really now either but ive got nothing else to do. im drinking vodka and sobe life water out of a kids sippy cup. its a bear. i cant explain it. i thought up this great idea to drink out of a redic container tonight so yeah . thats what i did
i tried embracing marks whole ” never wear shoes or socks thing” but i cant. i hate that my feet get dirty. its fucking gross.
do you hate that you are reading this? do you hate that you thought you knew me?
lemme tell you something. i dont even know me. everyday i wake up its something different and its always new.
i dont know who or what i am anymore
maybe its for the best.
whatever i was before wasnt good enough or too good or whatever the fuck it was you said
so i say fuck that.
shuv it right up ur fucking ass and suck my huge hangy fucking balls
im another day older and just as pissed
fucking forget this shit
one day im gonna move away from all of this
im over it its gone whatever i was chasing and i dont even need it any ways.
im gonna get what i want .
but then again… i dont know where im going but i know where i want to be